• Harm

    Newlyweds-to-be of the world, unite! DON’T get engagement rings, and get plain wedding rings.
    Engagement rings are a really sucky deal, especially if you go for the jewellers ripoff guidelines
    of 3 mo. salary. Are they kidding? And on a personal finance blog, too, LoL. Skip the ring, put a
    few more mortgage payments in the bank….or a start on future kids education funds, or
    retirement….I hate bling of any sort, personally….especially if folks go into debt, which it’s hard
    not to do at that age, with that large and useless a purchase. Just my opinion, of course.

  • biz

    Just skip the ring. esp the diamond, and if you get one anyway and its from DeBeers, God will kill a kitten.

    Get a fake one to ‘show-off’ to friends and family.

  • http://theweightofmoney.com donna jean

    I must agree with skipping the ring. However, the partner insisted that he had to give me one, so we used a family ring instead of buying a new one. In our case, it was a ring my grandmother gave me years ago and he had it cleaned and resized so it fit perfectly. I love wearing it every day and I love that it didn’t cost anything.

    Oh, and for the wedding rings, we made our own titanium bands – they cost $14. :)

  • http://www.lazymanandmoney.com Lazy Man and Money

    The smartest thing I did was to go Price Scope. It’s a search engine for online diamonds and the prices are often 30-50% less than Amazon or Blue Nile. When I got it appraised the appraisor couldn’t believe the deal I got. He showed me his connection to the NY Wholesale Diamond Exchange (I think that what it was called) and found only one for the price that I got that was near the quality. He said this is the best price he could do with his license and being in the business for 20 years.

    The Price Scope forums are particularly helpful.

    If you can get away without getting a ring, it’s a good plan. My fiancee had been deprived of every luxury that her peers had growing up as her parents wasted lots of money never saving anything. It was my biggest opportunity to say, “I understand how that often made you feel second best growing up, so here’s a symbol that you will always be first best at least to me.”

  • http://www.erikfolgate.com erik.folgate

    I would feel really weird not buying my wife an engagement ring. I know that it is just a tradition, and jewelers have done a great job making us think that it is ESSENTIAL to buy your fiance an engagement ring, but I think most girls do want one. Unless my wife had insisted up and down not to get her one, then I would have probably done it. Girls like having that symbol that they are taken by the man they want to marry.

  • mjh

    “Girls like having that symbol that they are taken by the man they want to marry”

    and some girls really, really, don’t like it. Personally, I could only ever afford a really shitty ring, neither me nor my fiancee are all that materialistic and diamondy, we don’t like the idea of small African child slaves mining them for our gratification….

    so I got her this instead
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/mojohealy/122899666/in/set-72057594134002886/
    it’s a pendant symbolising eternity and the comingling of lives, carved from native New Zealand jade and bought in the small town that we call our home.

    I had to put up with all the naysayers that said the diamond was the only way to go… all they were doing was showing their ignorance in mine and Jen’s personality. Do what’s right for you, and for her, and that might not always be an obscene diamond.

  • Jill

    @Eric…

    I think that you are dead on. If your future wife expresses that she really doesn’t believe in that tradition then it makes sense to honor the tradition and not get her one.

    For those who have comments expressing that it is basically pointless to get one, consider this:
    By your logic the wedding is pointless – and how many of you elected to do more than get the document at the courthouse?!?!

    Customs and traditions are important to varying degrees to different people. One has no right to make value judgments to others about how important they should be.

    Thanks for the great information Eric, Ill be sure to share this site with my fiance!

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