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Marriage and Money: Men and Women Have Different Financial Wants and Needs

By Erik Folgate

I have not been married for too long, but it has not taken me very long to realize that men and women are VERY different!  That is okay, because it would get very boring if I lived with someone just like me for the rest of my life.  In terms of money, I believe that most men and women think very differently.  I think we have different wants and needs. 

Disclaimer:  I know that this will be a broad generalization comparing men and women, so please refrain from hate comments if you are a part of of NOW. 

First, I know that men are usually motivated by money not for the gaudy possessions.  They are more motivated by the power and status that it provides.  Men love the feeling of being able to provide anything and everything for their significant other.  I think that women are more motivated by money to create a safe and secure environment.  Women love the thought of a nice, big house in a good neighborhood.  As men, we need to be keenly aware of this, because we could live in a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto if it meant saving up enough money to own our dream home. 

On the other hand, women could live with absolutely NO gadgets if they had to.  Women would churn butter if it meant owning the house or car of their dreams.  Men would rather buy a $200 gadget from sharper image to shave their face and iron their shirt at the same time.  Okay, that would be weird, but you get my point.  Men love gadgets!  I can’t go into Best Buy without salivating.  Women love safety and security.  My wife makes my life that much less desirable if she does not feel safe in a given situation.  Do you think that I’m way off with this?  Let me know. 

The point of this post is to remind ourselves that we are wired differently, and I believe many marital arguments about money arise from our different needs and desires for how to handle and spend money.  You could both be on board to save money and eliminate your debt, but you may not both be on board with what to do with that saved money.  I am learning to be more sensitive to what my wife values as important and this dictates my goals for the money that goes into our bank accounts every two weeks. 

Erik Folgate
Erik and his wife, Lindzee, live in Orlando, Florida with a baby boy on the way. Erik works as an account manager for a marketing company, and considers counseling friends, family and the readers of Money Crashers his personal ministry to others. Erik became passionate about personal finance and helping others make wise financial decisions after racking up over $20k in credit card and student loan debt within the first two years of college.

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